


Bad Pick-Up Lines

by Pinktoria



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, Cute, M/M, Pick-Up Lines, ah yes the smell of a blushing asshole, blushing Kuroo, but kuroo does one thats not really video gamey, hinata x lev if u squint, i dont know wht possessed me to finish this in one fucking day but!, its really short, kenma is a sneaky little fucker, kuroo is an asshole, kurooken - Freeform, my beta reader dubbed this as "cute" so there ya go, video game pick-up lines mostly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 23:35:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7734118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinktoria/pseuds/Pinktoria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Wanna play with my joystick?"<br/>Kuroo almost choked on his water.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Pick-Up Lines

**Author's Note:**

> Accept sidequest?
> 
> Y/N

Kenma was quickly coming to the decision that he really hated Kuroo Tetsurou.  
No, that wasn't true, he didn't hate him.  
But Kuroo was starting to really get on his nerves.  
It began with pick up lines.  
Kenma would be walking into volleyball practice, only to be stopped by Kuroo.  
"Are your hands full?" He would ask.  
"No?" Kenma would murmur, glancing down at his game in one hand and nothing in the other.  
Kuroo offered up his own empty hand to Kenma with that shit-eating grin eternally stuck on his face. "Will you hold this for me, then?"  
Kenma shoved past him, face just barely turning a shade of visible red.  
It didn't end there, though. One thing led to another, and before Kenma knew it, Lev and Hinata had dared him to give Kuroo a pick up line.  
Hinata chose the pick up line: "You're like a cutscene. Beautiful at first, but then you never shut up."  
He said he found it on the internet somewhere.  
Kenma agreed with Lev and Hinata that it was perfect for Kuroo. The thing was... he was not saying that out loud to him.  
"Come on, Kenma! It's funny, it fits him, an it's a compliment! What's not to like?" Hinata grinned at his friend.  
"Yeah! The worst thing that could happen would be if you said the wrong thing! Now go out there and get him!" Lev shoved Kenma around the corner of the school hallway, where Kuroo was sitting on a bench, peering down at his phone.  
Hinata glared at Lev for pushing Kenma out like that, but shooed Kenma towards the bedheaded captain all the same. "Go on!" He stage whispered.  
Kenma rolled his eyes and walked over to where Kuroo sat. He waited a moment for Kuroo to look up.  
"Oho? Kenma! What's up?" His voice was clear in the empty hallway.  
"... You're like a cutscene." He said, as if he were just realizing it and pondering it aloud. "You're beautiful at first... but then you never shut up."  
He seemed calm at first glance. He always seemed calm. But inside, his feelings raged like a hurricane.  
Kuroo stared at him for a moment, taking this in. Then he laughed. "Nice one, Kenma!"  
Kenma was a bit taken aback. Not even a bit red? That pick up line hadn't flustered him at all.  
Kenma gave him a small smile before walking in the direction he had come, where Hinata and Lev were waiting.  
"I'm going to need your help." He told them.  
Kenma had made it his duty to fluster Kuroo with a pick up line.  
He had Hinata and Lev pick them, telling them to make them increasingly dirty as they went.  
Soon enough, the three had a nice list of four pick up lines.  
They would always catch Kuroo during different times. Hinata skipped out on school sometimes to help.  
They caught him on his way to class for the second one.  
"Kuroo." Kenma said.  
Kuroo glanced at him and a smile broke out on his face. "Kenma!"  
"Is this an underwater level? Because you have me breathless." He steadied his breathing, staring at Kuroo and waiting for a reaction.  
"... Another one? I'm proud Kenma!" He grinned and laughed like usual, but Kenma was pretty sure he saw the corner of Kuroo's mouth twitch.  
This was going to work.  
For the third pick up line, Kenma upped his game a bit. He did it while at a practice game between Karasuno and Nekoma.  
Nekoma had called time out.  
"Hey, Kuroo." He said, glad that they were away from the others. "... Wanna play with my joystick?"  
Kuroo practically choked on his water.  
The second to last one was his easiest.  
Kenma had "run into" Kuroo at a convenience store.  
"Oh, Kuroo."  
"Hi, Kenma."  
They were silent for a moment.  
"... Rhydon my Lapras till you Squirtle all over me." Kenma told him, smiling innocently out the window.  
Kuroo almost screamed.  
The last one was the hardest one. Kuroo had managed to suppress a blush this far, but Kenma knew this last one would get the great Nekoma captain to break.  
He hadn't planned this one with Hinata and Lev. He found this one himself.  
It was in the middle of practice, again. But this time, it was different.  
"Kuroo. Can I talk to you for a minute?"  
Kuroo glanced over to where Lev was yapping to Yaku and sighed. "Fine."  
Kenma took his hand and pulled him out of the gym.  
They stood in the hall for a moment while Kenma gathered up his courage.  
"Mario is red. Sonic is blue. Join my lobby and be player two."  
Kuroo stood there for a moment, his face reddening. "K-Kenma..."  
Kenma stopped a slight snicker, shutting his eyes. His week-long effort of trying to make Kuroo blush had finally paid off. Ah, the sweet smell of victory.  
Wait... smell?  
When Kenma opened his eyes, Kuroo was right in front of him.  
No wonder victory smelled like a blushing asshole.  
Kuroo was coming closer. Their lips met. Kenma jerked back, feeling his own face heat up.  
Kuroo laughed, his face still a bit flushed. "Good job, Kenma." He shrugged. Damn that shit-eating grin! "So, how much planning did that take? How much practice? Was it all worth it, to see me red-faced?"  
He smirked, poking Kenma in the chest. "It better have been, because payback is heading your way." He leaned back, crossing his arms. "Let's get back to practice, now."  
Kenma nodded.  
He was quickly coming to the decision that he really hated Kuroo Tetsurou.  
No, that wasn't true, he didn't hate him. He loved him.

**Author's Note:**

> ┐(Wヮ￣)┌


End file.
